It’s a question that haunts me continuously, and from conversations I’ve had with peers and friends, haunts a lot of other people too.
Am I good enough for the project I’m about to embark on? This job I want to apply for? Or have applied for? To have that opinion? To be in this meeting? This room? At the table?
Often we look for outside clues that we might be good enough. Our boss telling us what a great job we are doing? Some good results? A positive outcome? The problem is much of that is fickle. It depends on what type of boss we have, the project or the multiple factors that affect it. As a result our self esteem takes a rollercoaster ride, sometimes high, sometimes low because of these factors.
Many of us have a date with imposter syndrome, more often than we’d like. I recently watched a video by Ali Abdaal, a youtube star who made his mark by offering advice to medical students being a junior doctor himself. In one of his videos he speaks about Imposter Syndrome and says ‘The thing is, you are an imposter.’ And that stopped me in my tracks. It makes sense doesn’t it. If you’re trying something new, a project, job, task, you are an imposter, you’ve never done it before. But that doesn’t have to stop us. Maybe we just accept that.
This got me thinking, maybe the question isn’t ‘Am I good enough?’ but ‘Am I getting better?’ Every time I embark on something knew that doesn’t guarantee success am I trying to get better? Again this can be a fickle beast if we look for reassurance from the outside world but if we set personal indicators it is a lot better. For instance writing a book for the first time? Some methods to get better are to write more, set yourself word targets, get editing software and look at the changes it is suggesting for your text to know how you can improve your writing etc… Starting a new job? Look at the job description and set yourself targets that you yourself can feedback on, for example if raising the quality of teaching, support struggling staff, meet with them regularly, set clear targets for them and help them achieve these, buddy them up with someone who demonstrates the skill set they are trying to develop. Often by helping others we feel good enough too.
So as I embark on branching out and trying projects beyond teaching my new question is ‘Am I getting better.’ And I’ll be the judge of that.